


Letting Go

by HeyPotterhead



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Basically Jemma dies, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Death, Established Relationship, F/M, I'm Sorry, Protective Bucky Barnes, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-07 16:33:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4270263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyPotterhead/pseuds/HeyPotterhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"Darling, you and I both know that this is the end for me."</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't really written anything for about a month now due to writer's block and this is me slowly trying to break out of it. Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> _The italics are for flashbacks, by the way._

"James," she breathlessly whispered as her cold fingers ran softly over his hand pressed to her chest where she had been shot. Her head lay on his chest, and his arm wrapped around her.

"The extraction team are on their way. You're going to be okay, you hear me?"

Oh, but how wrong he was. Blood had soaked her blouse, the white satin clinging to her pale body. They pooled on the floor, too, and James knew very well that she had lost about half of her blood, if not more.

The extraction team would take at least half an hour more to get here. There was no way she was leaving this place alive.

"James, I'm not going to make it," she said, as if she had read his mind.

"No, don't say that--" He didn't want it to be true. It couldn't.

"I'm not going to make it," she repeated, looking up at him. "They're not going to be here on time and I'm going to die."

All the determination in her eyes had faded as the realization took root. He wished that this was all a dream. It had to be just a dream. This was simply a really bad nightmare and he was going to wake up with her beside him.

_He woke up with a gasp, sweaty and heaving. The room wasn't dark like it was when he fell asleep, but was lit by the bedside lamps. Jemma sat on the bed beside him, her hand running through his damp hair and lips kissing and whispering soothing words in his ear._

_It was another flashback, one of the worst he ever suffered. Everything felt so real; the smell of the sterile room, the blinding surgical lights, the wheezing sound of the bone drill, and the pain as it broke through his shoulder blade..._

_"It's all right, James. It was only a dream," she whispered._

_"It felt so real," he said, heart still beating fast._

_"You're safe. You're okay."_

_She lay down beside him, gently pulling him into an embrace. She wrapped his arms around him and he clutched at the back of her shirt. He buried his head in the crook of her neck, and could feel her steady heartbeat._

_It was during moments like these he felt so bare and vulnerable, but he didn't mind if it was with her. She knew every single bit of him and she always saw him through the stoic mask he had that there really was no reason to put it on when it's just the both of them. It was astonishing how warm she was. How comforting she could be to somebody like him._

_She was right. In her arms and warmth, he was safe._

_And so he drifted off to sleep, listening to the beat of her heart and her shallow breaths._

Please let this be a dream.

"You're not going to die," he insisted, but his voice betrayed his words.

She looked at him with a faint smile, her eyes filled with remorse and anguish.

"Darling." She closed her hand around his, and slowly lifted it off her bloodied chest, lacing their fingers together. "You and I both know that this is the end for me."

He was holding back tears, trying to be strong for her but he couldn't. So he let the tears fall down his face.

He truly wasn't ready to part with her.

Just thinking about the possibility of losing her... It felt so much worse than the thought of confronting his own death. And to have her dying, bleeding in his arms? He would rather kill a thousand of innocent people and drown in his own guilt than have her go like this. This was not the ending she deserved.

She ran her thumb along the back of his hand, silently crying with him. Not because of the excruciating pain in her chest, not even because of the realization of her inevitable death, but because she couldn't bear the idea of leaving him. Leaving James. _Her_ James. The man everybody tried so hard to fix when all he needed was a friend, a hand to hold, a reminder that he was loved. He was so much more than the man people thought he was. He was better. How could she part with someone like him? It made her sick.

It was foolish of her to believe that she could be with him forever. Death was inevitable, after all. But she reckoned she would have more time than this. She was only twenty-eight; she had a whole life ahead of her. She still dreamed about settling down, having children, building her own hospital, winning a Nobel Prize. She held on to those dreams since she could barely talk, and ever since James she knew she wanted him to be with her when they turned into reality. Now all of it was gone. All because of a single bullet.

How funny life was. It got worse, then it got better and it gave you hopes--the ones that prevented you from giving up--and then one thing happened and it all came tumbling down.

"I don't want you to go."

"I don't want to go, either," she confessed. With a shaky breath, she buried her head in the crook of his neck, feeling his heart pounding fast as hers went slower. It felt like those nights where James woke up from a bad dream and she would comfort him. She sighed contently, trying to enjoy their last moment as much every bit she can despite the pain.

She was definitely going to miss this.

Her eyes were closed, and her breathing started to shallow.

"Jemma, keep your eyes open."

Her eyelids fluttered open, but not by much. Her skin turned cold now, exactly as her body began to shiver and her teeth began to chatter.

"It's cold," she said.

He pulled her closer against him, trying to warm her and wanting to be as close to her as possible. Holding a metal arm didn't help much, so he ran his flesh hand up and down the goose bumps on her skin. She still shivered, though.

He knew the time was here.

"I love you so much," she said, looking up at him again. "Don't you ever forget that okay? "

"I love you more," he choked out, running a hand through her brown hair. "Please don't leave me."

"I won't. I'll always be right beside you. I promise."

She was starting to cough now, blood gushing out of her mouth.

"Jemma, stay with me, please," he begged. Her eyes were slowly shutting down now, and James's heart couldn't have beaten any faster.

"I love you," she whispered once more before she let out a final breath as her eyes closed for good. Her hand dropped to her stomach and her head fell on his chest. No longer listening to his heartbeat, no longer feeling the safety of his embrace, no longer alive.

And that that moment, he lost all control.

He was sobbing now, letting all the tears he held back flow freely down his face. He was certain he never cried like this; he wasn't one to cry, anyway. But he did, and he couldn't care now. It felt like a giant piece of him had been torn out of his body, possibly even worse.

She was really gone now, and he wished he had gone with her.

**Author's Note:**

> So... Your two cents? I would really love to know what you thought. I hope you like it!


End file.
